Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Randomize
