I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So vagazzling was a success
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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