People in love make me want to vomit
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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