That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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