I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
