I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
