Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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