Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
