What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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