My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
