i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
