she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize