Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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