You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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