dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
