I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
