I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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