What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
