i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
