he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
