Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
