I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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