I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
