We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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