Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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