Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Randomize
