he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
nutella sex= disaster
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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