Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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