"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
