i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
