Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
