She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
