super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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