U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
