The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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