Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
