She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
you had me at cake vodka
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
