and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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