I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
