remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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