I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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