Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
