something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Randomize
