One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
