She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
