he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
