covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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