You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
