I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
