the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
