the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
