i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
